MY MILESTONES

Here is what you should know about me

1. At 4 weeks old, I could lift my head, and at 5 weeks, I could hold it up firm

2. Kim Thompson, one of my mentors said, I was the most handsome boy he saw in a room full of kids when we went to apply for my birth certificate.

3. I used to wake up and cry after a bad dream. Dianne (Thompson), our family friend said, 'I had dreamt that my maama's breast had disappeared'.

4. I smiled as early as 2 weeks. I would smile in my sleep. Maama said, she thought I was smiling with my guardian angel or my late sis (dad's first daughter), Kyla Amira (RIP).


5. I loved lying in the sling. Maama had to work with me in the sling on her lap

6. Maama said I made my sleep a community affair. When I was little, I slept loudly and woke up crying loudly.

7. I used to sleep with one eye open

8. Held the "Satisfier" at three weeks

Here is what friends and family said about me or called me:

1. More Breast - Maama
2. Acapulco pause - Auntie Tega
3. Mr. Bear -Auntie Kim Thompson
4. All You can Eat Buffett (Breast)-Maama
5. Mr. Beek, Big Deal -Popsy
6. Beek -Abram

Here are my mothers Joyous Moments of Me:

1. Lying in bed together and waking up to my face (she didn't put me in my crib when I was little)
2. My poop (especially early days)
3. My smile
4. My eye lashes
5. My hair

Here is what Maama tells me:
1. "Sometimes I look like Kim Jong Yun II" (I have been told that i look Chinese)
2. "Omululu gwa jjaja wo Daudi" (when I choke on the breast)
3. I am indeed Jjaja Getu's grandson because when i cry, tears immediately drop
4. I sing to maama
5. "Hold that Thought" (when I start crying while maama is preparing dinner)
6. "One Second" (when maama is changing my diaper).


Here is what I do:
1. I love playing with and pulling the "B" in my mouth
2. During my first week, Auntie Tega would dive me onto maama's B to feed
3. I laugh when maama blows under my chin
4. I listen tentatively when maama is speaking to me or reading to me


Here are things I say:
1. NGA -while crying: Nga (tonsitula), Nga (Njagala kwebaka), Nga (Tonfako)
2. Agh -When conversing
3. Ma (or thereof) -Saturday 20th September 2008

MY BIRTH STORY

This is what Maama and Auntie Kembe wrote about my birth with additional information from auntie Tega who came all the way from NYC to be at my birth and share my first week in this world.

LOVE OF MY LIFE: Biko Kafrika Henderson

July 18th
I went to the doctor for a routine visit. I told her I hadn't felt him move. We scheduled another visit for Monday.

July 21st

Tega, my sister, Damalie and I went for the visit. Everything seemed to be going well. He had the hiccups. The nurse did a sonogram, shook my belly and he moaned. Out of nowhere the midwife said "I am going to admit you". We didn't believe it. We grumbled all way home. We went to Kroger to get water, we went home, ate and I took a shower. When we got to Kennestone hospital I asked if they could check the heart-rate and another non-stress test but the nurses advised me to take my midwife's advice. So, I agreed to check-in, and make sure everything was normal because the ultra-sound said everything was normal.

Since my cervix was not dilated yet (!!), my OB recommended inducing me to ripen it. They began inducing at about 11:15pm on July 21st. I started feeling the contractions but they were still milder than my period cramps. My friend Tega stayed overnight with me at the hospital. At about 3am, I woke her up to help me to the bathroom because I was feeling sore all over.


July 22nd

I woke up at about 6:30am for breakfast but could not eat, for I was feeling more pain. At around 9:20am, the nurse and my midwife, Vivian came in to check my cervix; I was only 1cm dilated. I asked the nurse if the pain I felt from the contractions would continue the whole day, and she told me it gets worse, much worse. She also told me there was a possibility of a c-section. Shortly after Vivian and the nurse left, I felt a gush of water –MY WATER BROKE!! Oh! It felt orgasmic. It's one of the most memorable feelings I've ever had. I enjoyed it very much. I immediately paged the nurse and broke the news. Tega came back into the room and when I broke the news to her, she immediately text messaged my sister, Damalie and my Bradley coach Kembe. Both had just said prayers separately, 3 minutes ago.

The nurse gave me Pitocin to make the contractions regular, they started at 6ml then, 12ml and 18ml. I quickly realized I didn't want to hear how much they were giving me. I didn't even want to hear anyone talk nor did I want to talk. My sister Dorothy (in Uganda) had cautioned me not to talk because I wouldn't have energy to push. I used the thumbs up and thumbs down (just as the lie detector man) to communicate. My sister came in (from an interview that morning) and I told her, “I cannot continue natural, I am going to take the epidural.” She said, “This is what you wanted” (no epidural).

Shortly after, Kembe came in and the first thing I said was "I am sorry but I am going to take the epidural. This is hard." She said, "Now let us practice the relaxation and positive affirmations". She immediately began administering the breathing technique, the Bradley Way, and massaging my feet, while my sister held my hand. I thought of all those people who said, I could not go natural, and wanted to prove them wrong. I thought of all the time I put in preparing for natural childbirth, walking, squatting, pelvic rock, tailor sitting, butterfly, perinea massage, every morning and night. So, I resolved to accept the pain. Kembe asked me if we could practice some affirmations, visualization and relaxation. I said "strong contractions are good contractions". We also changed the position I was laboring in. It made such a big difference. A nurse came in and asked if I was given any drugs because I was able to focus and concentrate on resting mentally. I was at 1cm after my water broke.

At 2pm, I was at 3cm. A second nurse came in and asked if I was given any medication because I was doing very well. At one point, some amniotic fluid came out and I asked if they could change the sheets, she was surprised to hear that I didn't have a catheter. My midwife Vivian reminded me that epidurals don't take pain away they only soothe it. I listening to everyone encouraging me and thought, I can't do this.

By 2:25, I was in late first stage. My emotional sign post was "Do Not Disturb". My contractions were following a regular pattern, there was pressure in my pelvis. The room was nice and dim, we had the calm music playing and the environment was peaceful. 3:45pm I had my bloody show and I had a fever, the room was hot. I felt Tega's massage missing but when she came in to ask reassure me, I told her to get off of me. 5:55pm I was 7cm and I was changing positions to get comfortable. I would accept a c-section.” 8:01pm 9cm no effacement he wasn't coming down. 8:20pm 9 ½ cm, I was squatting. When I felt like pushing, it was a lot of pressure. I was in so much pain; I was abdominal breathing and could not hold my face any longer. The contractions were a killer; it was gruesome!! I thought this is worse than running a marathon. And I have run three marathons! I was able to change positions and I rested mentally.

Then the battle began. I wanted to rest on the right side and he (baby) wanted to rest on the left. Then, I hit transition. I felt like I couldn't go on. I wanted to have a C-section but I didn't verbalize the thought. I felt ashamed, because I was planning for so long. With every contraction getting harder, I could not relax my face anymore. Kembe told me, “Your eyebrows look nice. Just relax your face. Your hair looks good.” I didn't even care how my face or eye brows looked. I didn't want any clothes on. I wanted to bite my sister's hand because the contraction was so hard. Instead I squeezed so hard. I told her to remove the blanket from my back but there was none. It just felt so hot.

Then the baby started pushing and I could hold it any longer. I told Damalie to call the nurse that the baby was coming. Damalie exclaimed, “I can see his hair”. Then Victoria the nurse said "it was time to push” I bore down and tried to sit up". Then, I felt an enormous amount of pressure to push. Then, Victoria said don't push. She was holding him in. I yelled at her, “What are you doing?” She didn't want me to tear. Then she said push, but I didn't feel the urge. Tega said she was on the verge of crying. He started crowning and I bore down and felt his head coming out and his shoulders. Then I felt him released completely, the second orgasmic moment. Damalie cut the cord. He was cleaned and his vital signs were normal and he wasn't crying. Victoria said he wasn't crying because he was tired. Everyone was surprised at how big he was all 8lbs 9oz. He came out peeing. His toes were big, his nose was big and even his equipment was big. He had lots of hair (they (Abaganda) say if a constant heartburn during pregnancy is sign of lots of baby hair).



In my birth plan I wanted to give birth while squatting or on my fours I also wanted to walk around during labor, but the baby wasn't going to have it like that. Still, my midwife followed most of my birth plan and granted me most of my wishes. She put the baby on my tummy for a while as Damalie cut the cord, gave him to me to nurse after cleaning, and did not give me much medication except for Hepatitis B and eye medicine. I was so overwhelmed that this is my child. I already know he is very brilliant. He began nursing and observing his new world. I'm already planning for his first spelling bee. Biko Kafrika Henderson arrived at 8:48pm, Tuesday July 22 at Kennestone Hospital in Marietta, GA. He was surrounded by the love of his neat, organized and professional Bradley Coach, Kembe Nakiina Sullivan, his loving Auntie from New York by way of The Fletcher School, Tega Shivute and Family representative and Auntie, Damalie Lwanga. Dad and (maternal) auntie were informed shortly thereafter.