Even I Fall Sick

I am experiencing my first bout of sickness, down with a fever and flu. I also had a rash (heat rash) which I brought back from traveling too much over thanksgiving. But you know, I am a tough boy, just like my maama, and I will get through with this. I guess I couldn't avoid sniffing around. You know, my maama also had a cold from the trip. She keeps her nose around mine, so I couldn't avoid the contagious flu. Then maama took me to daycare for a day when she had to run around, and I guess the babysitter couldn't keep the other older kids around. So, it's been a tough week. But then again, life is tough and I am tougher. I can still play and giggle amidst the high temperature and sneezing. I am doing well, maama says and she is so proud of me.

Jaaja (my maternal grandma) says, I am growing up, that's why I caught a flu. It also shows that I am active and will help strengthen my immunity. Oh! I am sniffing right now (ma says, "Bless You" and again, "Bless You"). Oh! I look forward to getting through with this but I know my ma is more worried that mysel. You know, she loves me so very much..

Overall, I've been a great boy to date, and I hope Santa picks up on that and brings huge huge bounty when he comes down. It's been a while since I've been here but things have happened..I witnessed the election of our first black President as 44th President of the United States, celebrated Halloween (ma had wanted me to be Cornell West but didn't happen), enjoyed thanksgiving with my (paternal) family in Bartonsville, PA, and I have been immunized twice, now that was not enjoyable but I guess it's part of growing up. In less than two months, I'll return for my next immunizations. By then, I hope to be able to sit perfectly and completely rolly from place to place

Becoming Independent: My Mum is Paranoid

My Maama is so funny. She is now paranoid that I am too independent because I can play by myself, lie down by myself, ask her to put me down and go to bed by myself, all without crying. She's now getting worried that I am too independent.

You know, there is a time I used to cry more and sought my maama's attention and assistance each time I wanted to sleep or to nap or to play. I complained all the time and wanted her to pick me up. I also slept a lot on her lap, and in fact that was my favorite position, especially when she was working. I went to bed in her arms and wanted to wake up in her arms as well. I, as she said, made my sleep time a community affair. I cried to sleep and cried to wake up. I also cried if I didn't see or feel or hear my maama. I wanted her to be there all the time.

But now I am all growing up and I can do well all by myself. Now my maama has to wake up or get me out of bed to feed or take a bath or just play with me. She complains that I am too independent, that I sleep and rest alone too much that I don't need her soothing songs anymore. Oh! maama. She now misses those times when she used to sing those bedtime lullabies to me. She still reads to me before I go to bed. She also sits me on her lap so that I can fall asleep in her arms. She lies down besides me while I converse with her before I sleep or when I wake up. She loves all those memories.

But I don't wake up so much as I used to. Nowadays she checks on me to see if I have woken up or if I am ready for the breast or if I just want to talk. Sometimes she tells me, "Biko, let me know if you want to wake up or if you are hungry. I am here." Not that I am ignoring her, but I am trying to show her that I am all grown up now, she can now concentrate on her work. But mothers! they are never content without their children. they love their babies too much. My maama says I am the love of her life. I am the joy of her life. I am everything she is because I love her.

I love my maama very much. I smile and squirl when I look in her eyes. I enjoy the smell of her. I love to reach out my hand and touch her. I love to set my head near her Bre....I love everything about my maama. She's my daily comforter, consoler. She has given me plenty of love. She does not let me cry for long before she soothes me, and tells me that, "I need to grow strong like a man." The she puts me down to relax. But nowadays, all that is gone: there's no more crying.

MY MILESTONES

Here is what you should know about me

1. At 4 weeks old, I could lift my head, and at 5 weeks, I could hold it up firm

2. Kim Thompson, one of my mentors said, I was the most handsome boy he saw in a room full of kids when we went to apply for my birth certificate.

3. I used to wake up and cry after a bad dream. Dianne (Thompson), our family friend said, 'I had dreamt that my maama's breast had disappeared'.

4. I smiled as early as 2 weeks. I would smile in my sleep. Maama said, she thought I was smiling with my guardian angel or my late sis (dad's first daughter), Kyla Amira (RIP).


5. I loved lying in the sling. Maama had to work with me in the sling on her lap

6. Maama said I made my sleep a community affair. When I was little, I slept loudly and woke up crying loudly.

7. I used to sleep with one eye open

8. Held the "Satisfier" at three weeks

Here is what friends and family said about me or called me:

1. More Breast - Maama
2. Acapulco pause - Auntie Tega
3. Mr. Bear -Auntie Kim Thompson
4. All You can Eat Buffett (Breast)-Maama
5. Mr. Beek, Big Deal -Popsy
6. Beek -Abram

Here are my mothers Joyous Moments of Me:

1. Lying in bed together and waking up to my face (she didn't put me in my crib when I was little)
2. My poop (especially early days)
3. My smile
4. My eye lashes
5. My hair

Here is what Maama tells me:
1. "Sometimes I look like Kim Jong Yun II" (I have been told that i look Chinese)
2. "Omululu gwa jjaja wo Daudi" (when I choke on the breast)
3. I am indeed Jjaja Getu's grandson because when i cry, tears immediately drop
4. I sing to maama
5. "Hold that Thought" (when I start crying while maama is preparing dinner)
6. "One Second" (when maama is changing my diaper).


Here is what I do:
1. I love playing with and pulling the "B" in my mouth
2. During my first week, Auntie Tega would dive me onto maama's B to feed
3. I laugh when maama blows under my chin
4. I listen tentatively when maama is speaking to me or reading to me


Here are things I say:
1. NGA -while crying: Nga (tonsitula), Nga (Njagala kwebaka), Nga (Tonfako)
2. Agh -When conversing
3. Ma (or thereof) -Saturday 20th September 2008

MY BIRTH STORY

This is what Maama and Auntie Kembe wrote about my birth with additional information from auntie Tega who came all the way from NYC to be at my birth and share my first week in this world.

LOVE OF MY LIFE: Biko Kafrika Henderson

July 18th
I went to the doctor for a routine visit. I told her I hadn't felt him move. We scheduled another visit for Monday.

July 21st

Tega, my sister, Damalie and I went for the visit. Everything seemed to be going well. He had the hiccups. The nurse did a sonogram, shook my belly and he moaned. Out of nowhere the midwife said "I am going to admit you". We didn't believe it. We grumbled all way home. We went to Kroger to get water, we went home, ate and I took a shower. When we got to Kennestone hospital I asked if they could check the heart-rate and another non-stress test but the nurses advised me to take my midwife's advice. So, I agreed to check-in, and make sure everything was normal because the ultra-sound said everything was normal.

Since my cervix was not dilated yet (!!), my OB recommended inducing me to ripen it. They began inducing at about 11:15pm on July 21st. I started feeling the contractions but they were still milder than my period cramps. My friend Tega stayed overnight with me at the hospital. At about 3am, I woke her up to help me to the bathroom because I was feeling sore all over.


July 22nd

I woke up at about 6:30am for breakfast but could not eat, for I was feeling more pain. At around 9:20am, the nurse and my midwife, Vivian came in to check my cervix; I was only 1cm dilated. I asked the nurse if the pain I felt from the contractions would continue the whole day, and she told me it gets worse, much worse. She also told me there was a possibility of a c-section. Shortly after Vivian and the nurse left, I felt a gush of water –MY WATER BROKE!! Oh! It felt orgasmic. It's one of the most memorable feelings I've ever had. I enjoyed it very much. I immediately paged the nurse and broke the news. Tega came back into the room and when I broke the news to her, she immediately text messaged my sister, Damalie and my Bradley coach Kembe. Both had just said prayers separately, 3 minutes ago.

The nurse gave me Pitocin to make the contractions regular, they started at 6ml then, 12ml and 18ml. I quickly realized I didn't want to hear how much they were giving me. I didn't even want to hear anyone talk nor did I want to talk. My sister Dorothy (in Uganda) had cautioned me not to talk because I wouldn't have energy to push. I used the thumbs up and thumbs down (just as the lie detector man) to communicate. My sister came in (from an interview that morning) and I told her, “I cannot continue natural, I am going to take the epidural.” She said, “This is what you wanted” (no epidural).

Shortly after, Kembe came in and the first thing I said was "I am sorry but I am going to take the epidural. This is hard." She said, "Now let us practice the relaxation and positive affirmations". She immediately began administering the breathing technique, the Bradley Way, and massaging my feet, while my sister held my hand. I thought of all those people who said, I could not go natural, and wanted to prove them wrong. I thought of all the time I put in preparing for natural childbirth, walking, squatting, pelvic rock, tailor sitting, butterfly, perinea massage, every morning and night. So, I resolved to accept the pain. Kembe asked me if we could practice some affirmations, visualization and relaxation. I said "strong contractions are good contractions". We also changed the position I was laboring in. It made such a big difference. A nurse came in and asked if I was given any drugs because I was able to focus and concentrate on resting mentally. I was at 1cm after my water broke.

At 2pm, I was at 3cm. A second nurse came in and asked if I was given any medication because I was doing very well. At one point, some amniotic fluid came out and I asked if they could change the sheets, she was surprised to hear that I didn't have a catheter. My midwife Vivian reminded me that epidurals don't take pain away they only soothe it. I listening to everyone encouraging me and thought, I can't do this.

By 2:25, I was in late first stage. My emotional sign post was "Do Not Disturb". My contractions were following a regular pattern, there was pressure in my pelvis. The room was nice and dim, we had the calm music playing and the environment was peaceful. 3:45pm I had my bloody show and I had a fever, the room was hot. I felt Tega's massage missing but when she came in to ask reassure me, I told her to get off of me. 5:55pm I was 7cm and I was changing positions to get comfortable. I would accept a c-section.” 8:01pm 9cm no effacement he wasn't coming down. 8:20pm 9 ½ cm, I was squatting. When I felt like pushing, it was a lot of pressure. I was in so much pain; I was abdominal breathing and could not hold my face any longer. The contractions were a killer; it was gruesome!! I thought this is worse than running a marathon. And I have run three marathons! I was able to change positions and I rested mentally.

Then the battle began. I wanted to rest on the right side and he (baby) wanted to rest on the left. Then, I hit transition. I felt like I couldn't go on. I wanted to have a C-section but I didn't verbalize the thought. I felt ashamed, because I was planning for so long. With every contraction getting harder, I could not relax my face anymore. Kembe told me, “Your eyebrows look nice. Just relax your face. Your hair looks good.” I didn't even care how my face or eye brows looked. I didn't want any clothes on. I wanted to bite my sister's hand because the contraction was so hard. Instead I squeezed so hard. I told her to remove the blanket from my back but there was none. It just felt so hot.

Then the baby started pushing and I could hold it any longer. I told Damalie to call the nurse that the baby was coming. Damalie exclaimed, “I can see his hair”. Then Victoria the nurse said "it was time to push” I bore down and tried to sit up". Then, I felt an enormous amount of pressure to push. Then, Victoria said don't push. She was holding him in. I yelled at her, “What are you doing?” She didn't want me to tear. Then she said push, but I didn't feel the urge. Tega said she was on the verge of crying. He started crowning and I bore down and felt his head coming out and his shoulders. Then I felt him released completely, the second orgasmic moment. Damalie cut the cord. He was cleaned and his vital signs were normal and he wasn't crying. Victoria said he wasn't crying because he was tired. Everyone was surprised at how big he was all 8lbs 9oz. He came out peeing. His toes were big, his nose was big and even his equipment was big. He had lots of hair (they (Abaganda) say if a constant heartburn during pregnancy is sign of lots of baby hair).



In my birth plan I wanted to give birth while squatting or on my fours I also wanted to walk around during labor, but the baby wasn't going to have it like that. Still, my midwife followed most of my birth plan and granted me most of my wishes. She put the baby on my tummy for a while as Damalie cut the cord, gave him to me to nurse after cleaning, and did not give me much medication except for Hepatitis B and eye medicine. I was so overwhelmed that this is my child. I already know he is very brilliant. He began nursing and observing his new world. I'm already planning for his first spelling bee. Biko Kafrika Henderson arrived at 8:48pm, Tuesday July 22 at Kennestone Hospital in Marietta, GA. He was surrounded by the love of his neat, organized and professional Bradley Coach, Kembe Nakiina Sullivan, his loving Auntie from New York by way of The Fletcher School, Tega Shivute and Family representative and Auntie, Damalie Lwanga. Dad and (maternal) auntie were informed shortly thereafter.

WELCOME TO BIKO'S WORLD

Finally, I am here!

I have been meaning to do this for the longest while, but a lot has been going on, for example, I started touching objects, taking a nap/sleeping by myself without waiting for my mother, lifting my head, laughing, talking, sucking my finger and just watching moving trees.

I know your world has been quite messy, and I am sorry not as exciting as mine is..but that's life. I know Wall Street tumbled onto mail street. I heard about the gas crisis in Atlanta, the government plan to bail out Wall Street, the billions of dollars owed to China, the collapse of the US dollar and oh! the Presidential Campaigns. I have been following all of that, but most importantly, I have been trying to enjoy the first two months of my life in this world. So, far all is going well.

My parents are lovely, they enjoy me and so do I. They take me to the park every Thursday and sometimes to the Mall. I have already visited Dad's grandmother (my great grandmother), attended a family barbeque, rode on the bus, got my first shots, (oh! that was not too kind) and took my first studio portraits. I have received lots of presents, lots of attention and complements.

Everybody who sees me has something to say about me. They say I am cute, adorable, beautiful, strong, gorgeous, eeh. Some call me a sumi wrestler, chubby, fat boy, mr. bear (because I sleep soundly). Dad calls me Beek, the Big Deal, the B. Abram (Sullivan) calls me -Beek. Mum calls me Mr. Beek, Mr. Henderson. That's the story of my life. Everybody has an opinion about me.

I say, I am a self-expressive boy, strong, happy, and will not settle for mediocre. That's why I thank mum for giving me my name -Biko...because I am indeed a freedom fighter. I settle not for less. I am already supporting Barack Obama -isn't it lovely being born in this year? with the first African American Presidential Candidate of a Major Political Party? Oh! we are enjoying it!!

Let me tell you about my likes. First the breast, second the Breast, third, The Breast. After that, I have found a new love for my thumb, which I suck to sleep. I don't fancy the pacifier, although I used to suck on it when I was still little. I also love my car seat, but now the crib seems to be a better place. I love having my diaper changed, I love taking a bath in that sink..looking at myself and maama in the mirror as I splash water all around. Also I love getting rides in the car, but not the stop light. I want us to go go go. Mum says I will be a car racer (just like my father). I also love waking up and laughing and talking.

Things I don't fancy too much. when mum talks on the phone while breastfeeding me or when she tries to clean my ears or under my neck or wakes me up from sleep to change my diaper. I don't like that. Usually i fight her but other times I just cry in protest. I have become so much better. I know who I am and don't want to discomfort me.

Mum says I have really grown. Auntie Kim too says so. You know, I was born with a a lot of hair and sometimes people have to ask whether I am a boy or girls. But for the most part, I have the boyish look so not too many questions. I can now stand while supported, I bounce around in my bounce chair, I chat endlessly, I sleep through the night, only feeding at intervals, I don't wake up and stay up for four hours. I rest in my crib, which I didn't like before. I am now a pro at taking milk from the bottle. You know, my mum spent a whole week teaching me how to drink from the bottle because if she goes back to work outside the house, I will have to go to daycare and drink from a bottle. I did not like it. I cried and cried but now, i can drink 5 ounces/day in a bottle of maama's express (pumped) breastmilk, non-stop. I am lovin't! Although I usually refuse to take it when I am not really hungry.

You know I have already passed through that stage of "crying"..while getting used to this world. There's a time I used to cry non-stop. In fact there's one weekend when i cried and cried and cried. I would not stop even when maama lifted me up and soothed me. I just cried. Mum got really scared and started calling up friends/mentors. One said I had colic -which is something my grandma in Uganda had talked about although in Luganda it goes by the name, "Obwooka"..especially for breast-fed babies when their stomachs are trying to adjust to in-take of milk (food). Also, gas is another cause, coz I used to have a lot of gas. Partly because my mum was laxed in burping me. The other reason is because my maama loves beans, broccoli and eggs too much. She's a very vegetarian eater. Also, that weekend maama ate something different from what I was used to. She had "personalized pizza" from Pizza Hut. My stomach did not welcome it. So, she took me to urgent care and the doctor recommended "Mylicon Drops" -my first medicine. Grandma (Uganda) had recommended water from boiled orange pills. Oh! now i am fine and maama has started to carefully monitor what she eats, xcept for that one time when she had coconut rice with fish in peanut sauce. I feel for my maama but then again, it's my world for now.

This month, I can lift my head while on my stomach, I can hold my hands together. I have already sang my first song and I continue to enjoy the outdoors. When it's time to take a walk, I demand that so persistently from maama. Oh! i enjoy the baby björn, and now I have outgrown the sling. Anyway, I'll keep coming back to tell you what's happening in our lives -maama, Popsy and myself. For now, welcome to Biko's world and please continue to visit!!